My poor lonely Xanga

Oh, my poor Xanga….it’s been days….

Yesterday, I finally started my ‘plain-paper-pencil’ write of the first Luka book. I am calling it Sounds of Revolution for now, but who knows what it will be when I finally finish.

It’s been so long since I wrote, really wrote a new novel for the first time. I’m not in a re-write phase at all, it’s just straight creative and it gives me this rush that I could only compare to some drug akin to coke or heroin. It’s magical and I hate that there aren’t more hours in the day so that I could write for some eight hours then get a good night’s rest, then go to work at Anheuser, bright and early…..When the ideas really start flowing, the only thing that irritates me is that my hands won’t move fast enough to keep up with the thoughts coming from me.

On other notes, I can’t believe they are getting married. If you don’t have money to buy a ring, you don’t have the money, or sense, to get married less than a year when you first started dating, but all that’s besides the point.

I’m worried that he’s getting married and it makes me aggravated with myself. I don’t want him even though I did years ago, but thinking about it now makes me seriously fret about it. Why? I could never been with him; we’re not as close now, but the thought of it makes my heart skip a beat. And why be so ambiguous about it…..God, I have to know! I think I’ll ask every single day until I get an answer. At least then I can start to make my peace about it.

If he is, I hope I’m not invited. I don’t think I could sit through that wedding…..not without doing something really ridiculous.

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