Dorienne's Log

I rang in the new year at church once again and once again, I’m happy I did. Last year, it was more a sense of desperation since I just could not imagine bringing in the new year in some random bar. This year, I could not wait to go to our church’s Watch Night service. It was fun and even though I had to sing while on the crutches, I really enjoyed myself.

I spent the majority of yesterday watching the SVU marathon on USA, while today was a mix of a Twilight Zone marathon, a Law & Order marathon and football….the only thing better than watching Ohio State win is watching Michigan lose. **grins wildly**

So, since it is a brand new year, I feel it necessary to make some…not technically resolutions, but promises for myself:

1. Lose weight – Long overdue and it is becoming a sort of health issue. I am not looking to be model thin by my 23rd, but definitely a size or two smaller than I am now.
2. Stay neat – Today, the house is more or less clean. I want to keep it that way throughout the year; just like normal people do. A little here, a little there. Just no need to spend an entire day doing laundry or just cleaning the bathroom or just doing the dishes. Also, not going to sleep with my room untidy. This will probably help overall.
3. Get into a routine – This one will be hard since I am still sans employment, but I need to just get into a basic routine:

1) Morning – Shower, teeth, feet, lotion, hair and makeup
2) Night – Clothes/misc items, dishes, floss, teeth, face and stomach-work

If I can start with a routine for when I wake up and go to sleep, I think I will be better off altogether. Plus, this also ties into what will be needed for #1.
4. Graduate…from somewhere – I have three degrees in progress, yet I feel like I am no closer to any of them as I this time last year. Just one degree out of the possible three. This will require some hard work and a lot of prayer.
5. Submit a novel – I have been writing here and there, and editing this and that. I think it is past time for me to make good on this dream of mine. This will also include making the final editions of something; Evan, Luka, any one I can complete.
6. Be healthy – This also is a part of #1. I need to be healthier overall; some kind of workout everyday, get in the fruits, grains, etc, read my Bible often, if not daily, etc.

I think in total, my New Year’s Resolution is to just be a better person altogether. Today is the first of January in the beginning of my 23rd year of existence. The past 23 years have been extraordinary, but not what I want my life to surround. Here’s to making 2007 the first of many healthy and successful years as a child of God.

The Cardinals won…bah. They only won because I didn’t want them to win….

Anyway, the diet official starts tomorrow. Green beans for breakfast lunch and dinner, and carrots and fruit to fill in the empty spots if I feel like I’m hungry enough to eat my own thumb. It’s nothing, but necessary though. I went out, to pick up my wings, of course, and when I put on my winter coat, the same winter coat that could fit me with a hoodie on, the bloody coat just barely fit. And I was wearing a t-shirt!

I was so disgusted with myself as I had to mildly struggle to fit the buttons. There is no excuse for all this nonsense. I must have gained forty pounds in the past year! Forget the new’s resolutions, forget the to-do lists! I’m just going to eat green beans until I fit my coat properly again.

I can’t believe this is coming as such a shock to me. I’ve seen it developing day by day, week after week, month after month. And here I am. I’m not sad or depressed or ready to cry. I’m just angry! Angry with myself for allowing this to happen and then even angrier at myself because there’s no one else to blame.

Grrr! Diet! Tomorrow! Huzzah!