Dorienne's Log

I cannot take much more of this.

Just when I thought it could not possibly get any more ridiculous, the sun rises once more.

I’ve just come from my Micro lab written practical and I would feel completely livid, if I could find the urge to give a damn. God! From the very beginning, the class was a complete and utter waste of my time and today simply proved the fact to an unwavering degree. We had a class assignment turned in two weeks ago, one that was not necessary in the first place, only to have it returned to us today, the day of the fricken practical! I look at my assignment and realize that I did it completely wrong. Okay, that would not have been a problem, had I received the graded assignment even yesterday, but no, I received it upon completing my practical. The problem? The practical had a problem IDENTICAL to the said assignment and I completed the problem the EXACT same way as I had previously. Had the TAs and the lab instructor taken an extra second to do their jobs, I would have had my assignment, realized I did something wrong and been able to rectify this issue on the practical. But, no! I have to deal with idiots and morons who do not want to be at their jobs anymore than I wish to be in their classrooms. The whole thing makes me sick.

Even more infuriating is the realization, coming to me through a fuming walk home from the practical, that the only reason I have remained a Microbiology major was because it fit in perfectly with my internship with Anheuser, and now with the great plausibility that I will not get a job offer from them, I see that the past four years of my life have been a complete waste. So many times did I think about saying, “Screw it” and just become an English or History or some bullshit, easy Humanities major and just find a job some time, somewhere that was enough to pay the bills. I would have been far happier as an English major than with with my current one. I just wish I had had someone to look at me say, “Dorienne, do what will make you happiest in the end” instead of someone pushing me to what he or she thought was a definition of success. Wealth and success are not synonymous to me and never will be. A successful life would be one where everyday one could go to sleep with a smile on his or her face, thankful for another happy day on Earth.

Now, my entire life’s strategy must be re-worked and I hate myself for not listening to myself and what I knew I wanted out of my life. Like it suggests in the title, hell is having to deal with other people. Some of the best days of my life have been spent locked away from the rest of the world for hours at a time. What does that say about me, I wonder….