Dorienne's Log

It is always so fascinating when you have a moment to reflect. Only in these moments do you realize just how much you take for granted. Or who for that matter. My great Aunt Phyllis passed away last Sunday and while I cannot forwardly remember her, I still prayed for my grandmother very, very hard. “They” say these things come in threes. With a lot of people the three started with Morgan Freeman, but with me it started with my great aunt.

I’d be lying if I said I watched every episode of The Bernie Mac Show and I’d also be lying if I said that he was one of my absolute favorites in comedy. But, I will say this: his was the funniest spot on The Original Kings of Comedy and you can always spot talent when you watch a comedian do stand-up. Even the few bits of The Bernie Mac Show I remember still stick with me and make me smile.

Bernie Mac was truly hilarious and, even though I only saw him in things here or there, I was still devastated when I read that he had passed. It seemed so simplistic and just far too soon, but I guess God knew it was his time just like with anyone else. What really interests me is the fact that he seemed more cherished to me than say Isaac Hayes. My heart goes out to the Hayes family, but with Bernie Mac, you know he is somewhere where there is no more pain and no more tragedy.

I watched The Original Kings of Comedy tonight because it was the only thing I had with him that didn’t require going all the way back downstairs and sifting through my DVDs, but I’m very glad I did. In the film, right before he goes on stage, he does the coolest thing; make a cross over himself and clearly say a short prayer before performing and his was just as funny as the first time I saw it. When he got into the part that turned out to be the plot of his show, I was crying with laughter for ten minutes straight.

While the bipolar in me wants to rush out and buy several seasons of The Bernie Mac Show and watch ten episodes of South Park straight, that “moment” passed without incident just by seeing Bernie Mac make that little cross before he performed. When I learned of Isaac Hayes passing, I prayed for him and his journey because it seems he went before the Creator a Scientologist instead of a Christian as he should have been, but with Bernie Mac, everything is all smiles. I know where he went and I can’t imagine how best to “pay my respects” to someone than to laugh with them on home.

I’ve been making a lot of notes for my In Darkness series and the more I ponder about souls, the more I realize how difficult it is for me to give up on the idea of souls being reincarnated or, really, regenerated. It just makes sense to me and it seems like no amount of church is able to trump this fact. It allows me to account for the idea that God wants everybody to go to heaven. This is the only way for me to rest at night whilest I wonder about the murderer sitting on death row, who never got the chance to know Jesus. I have been blessed with the opportunity to not just know about Him, but learn as much as I want about Him. If I screw up at this point, I deserve to go to hell. But what about some little African girl who lives out with the tribes of nowhere, who really will never get the chance to know Him? It just does not seem like something that a fair, just and awesome God could do; to allow someone to go to hell when they never had the chance to learn, to never know any better.
I think all souls continue to come back to “life” until they get it right. It’s the only logic that I can follow that doesn’t have me worrying about my religion and sending me packing once again. And I just can’t let go of it.