Dorienne's Log

things were kind of strange today, i’ve listened to something stupid and terrible, but it’s fine. i’m not about to get stressed about it, even though it’s terribly fucked up, but once again, i’m not going to be stressed about it.

whatever….

The best thing about my current internship is that I’m getting a first-hand glimpse into what my life might be like for the next 30 years. I don’t know what’s more irrating, the fact that I already hate it or the fact that everyone I work keeps telling me how much I will hate the job. It’s ridiculous at best.
I’ve decided to change the entire meaning of my first novel series, which is good since now it has a definite plot and might actually be interesting for other people to read. I should write far more than I do, but laziness overtakes me each day and there’s nothing I can do about it. Well, I know there’s something I can do, like not be lazy, but in the back of my mind I just keep saying “Screw It” and so I do, figuratively speaking.
I’m almost 21 and it doesn’t seem like I’m going anywhere. I guess I just feel like I haven’t accomplished anything, but then again, I’ve only been an adult for 3 years. I can’t help feeling that I’m 37 or something, which makes me depressed and then this whole cycle continues again. Oh well, the work on the website continues and so will the editing of the first book. Eventually, I’ll finish the first series or take a second to just sit and write like I used to do.

I managed to put up another post prior to the mandatory six month mark! Ha! I’ve done it….
Although I’ve nothing to report…that’s the trouble with blogs, I guess.
A woman I’ve felt was a type of surrogate grandmother for me is dying and will probably die within the next couple of days. It’s not fair; it makes me hate the world and everything in it. I’ve also just found out that one of my best friends has been lying straight to my face for months now. I know it doesn’t sound like a horrible thing, but….I just don’t like lying. I don’t do it, if I can help; I’ve got nothing to lie about! People also make me sick. What does it matter that I’ve watched Star Wars a whole slew of times? It’s not like I bring it up in everyday conversation. How could it possibly affect anyone else in the world; the fact that I like the third Star Wars movie? Ninety percent of that is solely Hayden Christensen. Yes, people definitely make me sick…

Two weeks ago, after finishing a 12-pack of Pepsi in less than five and realizing just how much sugar I’d consumed in that time, I decided that my addiction had taken a new hold and it was time for a change. Thus, I began the “no-Pepsi” era of my life and I’ll see if this lasts at least until December….

So, tonight while watching an ER re-run, I was suddenly overrun by the urge to drink, my third Pepsi of the day. Mind you, I’ve already had a breakdown in the “no-Pepsi” era of my life, by having two today and there I was craving a third. I tried to not think about, I drank water, I had a push-up pop, and yet the craving raged on. And then I looked to the small green Bible given to me by the creepy little man handing out Bibles on campus the other day for solace in my Pepsi temptation. I don’t know what I was expecting exactly, but to no surprise, I got nothing from reading passages on temptation in the Bible. After agonizing over the thought that I will never get back those five minutes I spent reading that damn Bible, the urge subsided and I’m happy to say, I’m back on track, so to speak. But then again I do wonder…..Perhaps reading that little Bible did work. Hmm……

So, it’s finally happened:
After much kicking, screaming, bad-mouthing all the morons with blogs, and the like, I got one myself.
I’m not condoning this in any way, mind you! It’s just a little place to put all my bull that doesn’t take up room on my server. Yah!

DorienneSmith.com — where life finds meaning

…and it really will too!