Dorienne's Log

Neither of my two goals were accomplished nor was any real degree of progress made upon them. However, I did manage to not only put hours into studying for my Immunology exam, I also gave myself a brazen head start on an upcoming paper for General Microbiology. Albeit, I had originally thought the micro paper was due today and that thought had only occurred to me at 3 o’clock this morning, causing me the kind of stress and panic that manages to shave years off of one’s life, the fact remains that the paper is more than half completed and it is not even the wee hours of the morning preceding the paper’s actually due date.

So now I sit typing (making this hour twenty-eight since I had last slept) and wondering: my goals of finished books and lost pounds may end up arbitrary factors in my life, thus making them failures by and by, and thus, last night I failed at my failures. And yet….by failing at failure I have managed to thrust myself one step further to graduation, a good job and a successful life.

I suppose today’s real question should be, How does one define success? True, a dependable job which followed a successful collegiate graduation would be a measure of success to my family and peers, but what about myself? What does Dorienne think of the plausible successes lying ahead in her path? Are they really successes or are they failures convincingly hidden in a veil of the probable happiness perceived for me?

Perchance at a later date, when the rehabilitating splendor of REM sleep has once again graced my presence, I may revisit these thoughts and questions. For now, however, I shall end with three lists: one of things I ought to do, one of things I could do and another of things I will most likely end up doing.

List One – Should Do:

* Clean room
* Do dishes
* Return books to Health Sciences Library
* Follow up with Limited Brands interview
* Follow up with Anheuser Busch interview
* E-mail Biochemistry professor
* Call Mother
* Achieve a good night’s rest

List Two – Might Do:

* Place library in bookbag for ease of returning them tomorrow or Monday
* Call friends I have not spoken to in a while
* Achieve a good afternoon’s rest
* Go to opening of Sky Bar and drink until I cannot remember which card I used for a tab

List Three – Will Do:

* Update website (calvin.doriennesmith.com)
* Edit a chapter of A Ten Minute Speech
* Play The Sims
* Fall asleep early in the morning and waste most of Saturday sleeping until 3pm