Addendum to ‘Can’t let go’

Why can’t I do it? WHY CAN’T I DO IT!?!

Tonight, the women of the church came together to fellowship and everything was…so nice, and positive, and good. We then came to prayer requests and I just couldn’t do it. I had requests. I have requests. Please, pray for my grandmother; I think she’s worrying herself into the ground, a little too literally. Please, pray for my mother; she sounded so sick when I spoke with her tonight. Please, pray for me as I attempt to venture back into the working world and struggle with these monetary woes of mine. I have loads of requests, but I can never voice them. Why? I’m always so frustrated with myself. It seems like it would be so easy to do, but I just can’t do it.

It’s like some deep, innate lack of self esteem. I don’t know what to do or how to approach this. Everyone talked so long about the women of our church coming to one another. That one of us hurts we all should hurt and bring one another back up again. But….I just don’t feel like I could ever deserve that. It seems like everything going on in my life is so insignificant compared to everyone else’s, and just I can’t let go of that feeling.

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